Saturday, August 27, 2011

Donut Disaster

We were feeling a tiny bit disappointed that we didn't get so much as a drop of rain from an outer band of Hurricane Irene yesterday as she blew right by South Carolina.  (We're praying for those who are in the direct path of the storm...hoping our family and friends in Virginia, Pennsylvania and New Jersey stay safe and damage-free!)  We're storm-watchers here at the Source household, and we love nothing more than watching a Weather Channel Nut-job hang onto a pier piling, body horizontal, windbreaker flapping like a flag in the gusty gales as he screams into the microphone describing the hunks of debris whizzing past his head!  Reality tv at its best, folks! 

After grilling our bison steaks and five dollar rib-eyes (Earth Fare, $5.00 for 16 oz. this week with coupon!) the man of the house realized that we had nothing sweet in the house to snack on while watching the Weather Channel.  Gasp!  Man cannot lounge on the loveseat and watch meteorologists getting hammered by 100 mph winds and rogue waves without a cholesterol-laden hunk of sugar in hand!

Late night Krispy Kreme run!

The four of us hopped in the Tahoe (that would be me, the husband, Ryan and the puppy...the other twin decided to stay home and babysit his video games) and drove to town.  I leaned over and placed our order into the speaker of the drive-up window.  Couldn't really understand what the girl said back to me, but it sure sounded like, "Drive around."  So I did.  The Krispy Kreme girl opened the window and said, "Sorry, but I didn't understand your order." (This was about to become glaringly obvious.  She. Did not. Understand.)  I repeated, "We'd like six chocolate-covered crullers (for the husband with the bad cholesterol), four chocolate-covered, cream-filled (for the twins), and two glazed (mine! all mine!) 

A few seconds later, another woman appeared at the window.  "Can I take your order?"  I explained that I'd just given it to the other girl.  She politely asked me to repeat it to her, so I did. 

A few seconds after that, a dude opened the window.  "You gave somebody your order yet?"  he asked.  Um, no, I just thought I'd pile the family up in the car and come hang out at your window for a little Friday night fun.  "Yes, I have already ordered, thanks."

The first girl came back, handed a box out the window to me, stuck a receipt in my hand, and shut the window in my face.  Hmm.  Thank you.  Husband checked the donuts (because he always needs to ensure that a maximum amount of chocolate has been slopped all over his crullers or the world as we know it may come crashing to an end) and discovered that the cream-filled donuts were not, in fact, coated in chocolate.  I had also noticed that the girl hadn't given me any receipt to sign.  At this point, the man had come back to the window, so I explained this to him and handed the donuts back in.  He found the girl, who protested that we HAD ordered our cream-filled without chocolate and that I had already signed the slip and she'd put it in the register. She also had a few ugly things to say about stupid people. 


Krispy Kreme man handed her the box so she could go correct the order while he found our receipt, which wasn't signed, and we took care of that.  She handed us the box back and mumbled something ugly again.

Since there were cars lined up behind us, (Krispy Kreme being the "in" hangout on Friday nights, apparently) we drove on around.  Hubby opened the box and guess what?  She had taken out all the chocolate-covered cruller and replaced them with plain ones. 


At this point it was determined that a face-to-face explanation of the intricate donut order might be best.  Hubby went inside.  He patiently (no, really!) stated to the guy at the counter that we had ordered 6 chocolate-covered crullers, 4 chocolate-covered, cream-filled, and 2 glazed.  Currently we had a box containing 6 chocolate-covered, cream-filled, 4 plain crullers, 2 glazed.  The guy took the box and went to the back.  The girl could be heard back there yelling, "What's his problem now?" 

THIS time?  Nope, still not right.  Try it ONE.  More.  TIME.  Please. 

It ain't rocket science, people.  It's donuts.  You pick them up.  You place them in a box.  They're already sitting all neatly in rows that are labeled for you!  A third grader could accomplish this task! 

And while you're at it, you could keep your rude comments to yourself.

We never did end up with exactly the right order.  Although we did get four extra donuts because they couldn't just keep throwing them away.  Eventually, we made it back home.  By this time, however, the show in the car was way better than the one on tv...Hurricane Irene had nothing on the hot air coming from my husband's ears & nose! 

Krispy Kreme.  Perhaps it would be best if you began screening your employees for basic intelligence?  Have them sort shapes and colors during the interview?  Play a game of Candy Land with them?  Put pictures on the trays of donuts and on the order form so they could just match them up?  Anything to make it a little less complicated. 

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