Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Do your kids do this?

Do your children walk up to you and start jabbering away about something when you're clearly not paying attention to them?  Because maybe you're right in the middle of trying to read an article or you're concentrating on the news or making dinner while on the phone and you had your mind completely on that task so when the child (ok, teenager, there are no children here...so they should definitely know better, right??) anyway, the point is when the kid stands by your shoulder just out of eyeball range and yammers away at you and then goes, "So can I?"  you have absolutely no clue what the heck they just said and what it is they want to know because you were busy and your forty year old mind doesn't work quite as quickly as it once did and if you've told them once you've told them a million times please make sure you actually have my attention otherwise you're wasting your breath and driving me insane it's like mosquitoes buzzing in my ears....

Or is it just me??

It happens every day.  One of them approaches from behind holding a take-out container of egg rolls and fried rice and begins, "Mom, do you think I could heat up this leftover Chinese food for lunch cause we're out of turkey for sandwiches and I wonder if it's still good since we had Chinese on Thursday, and how long would you warm it for?  Can I have another Coke cause someone drank all the tea and I don't want water?"

"Mom?"

"Mom, how long?"

"Mom...thirty seconds?  Yes?  No?  Coke?  Helloooo??"  Shaking styrofoam box in my face...

Startled out of my stupor by the smell of week-old Chinese food...Huh?  What?  Did you want something?  Were you talking to me?

"I just asked you a question. Weren't you listening?"

Did I look like I was listening to you?  I have earbuds in my ears for heaven's sake!  I was typing away a mile a minute here.  Instant messaging.  Facebook.  Very important stuff.  What gave you the impression that I was aware you were speaking to me?  Was it the way I wasn't looking at you?  The way I didn't even know you were in the room?  No I wasn't listening to you, Only Person On Earth.  How can I help you??

"Never mind."

I keep telling them...please...just tap me on the shoulder.  Lean over and look me in the eye.  Grab me by the neck and give me a good shake.  Scream in my ear.  Anything.  Don't just stand there assuming I'm focused on your every word because most likely...if you're mumbling behind me...I have no idea. 

How hard is it to get in your mom's face and yell, "EXCUSE ME??  GOT A SECOND, LADY??"

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