Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Dingbat Diaries, Forrest Gump edition

Forrest Gump:
"Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them."

Poor Forrest Gump's mama. She was all by herself, raising a child with learning issues, looking out for his best interests and seeing that he got a decent education.  I'd say she did a pretty good job of it, considering how things turned out for Forrest in the end. 

I don't know how she did it.

It's a mystery and a wonder to me how Mrs. Gump didn't go stark raving mad while Forrest was a kid.

I've mentioned here before that one of our twins takes things very literally.  And make no mistake about it.  When I say literally, I do mean very, very, VERY literally.  There have been times in the past when we've told him to "Go get in the shower" and well...yeah, that's just exactly what he did.  He got in the shower. 

And then he got out again.

He has been known to brush his teeth without using toothpaste because he wasn't told to put any on the brush.  He's taken the dinner dishes off the table right out from under our noses when asked to clear the table.  He's carried the dog around for an hour because we told him to "Bring Lucy in, please" but we didn't tell him what to do with her once he did.  We didn't specify that all he had to do was open the doggie door to allow her access to her laundry room retreat.

Now, he doesn't do these things to be obnoxious.  Really.  He's the sweetest, most helpful child out of the four we've raised.  He isn't trying to get on anyone's nerves or get out of doing a job. In fact, Ryan always does just as he is told.  He always obeys.  He just...well, he just processes things a little differently, that's all. 

We've learned to deal with it over the years, and usually we make certain that either A: our directions are crystal clear or B: he understands what we're saying even though we didn't spell it out for him.  We're trying to help him develop some sort of common sense.  I mean, after all he is a really smart kid, independent and motivated and capable of getting his school work done without assistance.

But sometimes?  Well, I admit that as loveable as he is, it's a little annoying when I tell him "Go to bed!" and he does go to bed but then he just sits on it and watched tv for hours.  Because I didn't say "Go to sleep." 

Other times it's not annoying, it's just downright hilarious!



Take today, for example.  Hubby asked him to cut the grass in the front yard and told him he could use the riding mower rather than the push one.  That is a pretty big deal because Ryan's been mowing the yards for a couple of years now, but has never used the riding mower without direct adult (Dad) supervision standing right there watching every move and ready to sprint to the rescue in case of danger!  Previously, he's only used the push mower all alone.  But today, seeing as how he's almost 14, he finally graduated to Unsupervised Riding Mower Privileges.  Oh yes.  He did. 

Well, temporarily, anyway.

Cause uh...well...Dad told him not to move the blade.  (Meaning, don't adjust the level any higher or lower.)

So he didn't.

He didn't bother the blade at all. Nope.  Didn't touch it.  Just as he was told.

He didn't even engage the blade.   So, all that time he spent riding in neat little circles, round & round the yard, carefully turning and keeping in nice rows...he didn't cut so much as one single blade of grass. 

But BOY was he proud!

Poor Forrest Ryan.  If only Dad had done like Forrest's Mama did and explained things a little more clearly. 


1 comment:

Hezra said...

Hahahaha... I am laughing so hard and trying NOT to wake snoring children. I cannot TELL you how this sounds like a kid here. Oh. my. word. So sad with gas prices what they are that your grass didn't get cut. But Y kid when told to cut the grass might have just gone for the scissors. Ya just never know.