Sunday, February 27, 2011

Turning FORTY...a tutorial.

How to enjoy turning FORTY and drag things out so the party lasts a whole week...

First, grab an accomplice and head out of town for the day. 
If it's cold and yucky at home, be sure to choose some place warm and sandy!
Put on your sunglasses, park your butt in a chair right in front of the ocean and chill until the sun goes down and you get to chilly to chill anymore. 
Then grab some super-huge cupcakes from Fresh Market to eat for dinner on the way home.
Because everyone knows that cupcakes are just as healthy as Bragg's aminos when it's your birthday.
Right, Chelsea?

Next, celebrate your husband's and your nephew's birthdays (but not yours) with cake, cake, and more cake.  Preferably, there will be Reese's cake involved.  That way, you can ensure that every last bite will be eaten, and you will not have to take any leftovers home and stuff yourself silly.  This is especially important since you won't be having YOUR cake for a few more days. 
The initial cake consumption is just for warm-up.

Well, hello there, handsome!  Want to spend another 24 years with me?!

Three generations of beach bums!

OK, so after beach day and the initial cake-consuming, the next thing on the birthday list is a romantic dinner with your loving husband and your parents.  Pick a place you love!  Good conversation, pleasant atmosphere and scrumptious food are a must!

Later in the week, go shopping with your sister. 
Try on brightly colored mu mus and take stupid pictures of yourselves in the dressing room mirrors. 
Be careful not to laugh too hard or the girl working the dressing room may call security!

Take your sister to lunch at Moe's!  Buy an extra-huge queso dip! 
Remember, it's your birthday (all week) and calories don't count!
Eat so much that you have to be rolled out to your car.
Spill your drink all over the table if you really want to see your sister jump out of her just adds a little entertainment value to the day.

Open an obnoxious yet carefully thought out card from three of your children...

then smack them for being so rotten!

Blow off a little steam at the gun range with your oldest son...the future law enforcement officer.  

Shoot some holes in the paper bad guy. 
It doesn't matter if you aren't all that accurate...he'd be bleeding pretty profusely, anyway.

Finally, birthday party weekend will arrive at long last!
You will need some beautiful flowers...

lots and lots of delicious food...

a  random, crazy nursing student who may or not be dating your son...(this one is, in fact, dating our son, but if your son isn't dating a nursing student or you don't have a son you could probably all up the local university and have then send you one over for celebration purposes.  They're highly entertaining.)

You will need a good photographer. 
If she's your sister, even better, since she won't charge you a dime and she'll upload all 200 pics to facebook for you at 3AM.  Unfortunately, she won't edit all the pics to make you look 20 pounds lighter...oh well.  You get what you pay for, right?

You're gonna need some friends to help you celebrate, so be sure to invite plenty of those...

and be sure to have them bring any darling little girls they may have sitting around. 
Little girls LOVE cake!
No, really, they do!  Just look at how Casey's eyes lit up when it was finally time for her huge, sugar-smothered hunk of 9:00pm. 
Never fear, Casey is just like my Darling Daughter.  Sugar has no affect on her level  of hyperactivity. 
She's on wide-open all the time anyway.

OK, in order for your birthday week to be a complete success, you're also going to need some family.
How about a mother-in-law who's known you almost as long as your own mom?
Yeah, that'll do nicely.

If you want, you could invite the woman who gave birth to you all those years ago, and arranged this little shin-dig just for you. 
Oh, and told you your top looks like you went shopping in your great-grandma's closet.  Thanks, mom. 

If you're really lucky, your sister will get you the perfect gift. 
A Star Wars blanket that your kids will want. 
Now to buy a light saber to fend the twins off...

And last, but not least, if you can manage, you should gather some of your high school BFF's to help you celebrate another year.  These two?  They helped me turn 14 and helped me turn 40, too.  Between us, we have eleven children from age 21 to age 3.  Thank heaven I'm not the one with the three year old! 

All in all, this was a fabulous week! 
Thanks to everyone who helped make my week so special!
Turning forty was so much fun, I may have to do it again next year!


1 comment:

a Tonggu Momma said...

Happy Birthday to one of my Very Favorite Bloggers! Now go find some light sabers. And know that I'm filing this away for future reference. I'm gonna need it soon enough.