Saturday, January 22, 2011


My sister is bored.  She says she needs a new blog to read. 

Personally, I don't know how one could be bored when one has three little boys under the age of 13 living in one's home and those three boys attend three different schools that begin and end at three different times, requiring one to spend between two and three hours in one's car every...blessed...morning...and...afternoon...not to mention the three boys worth of homework, food, laundry, food, activites, food, practices, food, arguments, food, messes and food every day...but then maybe her boys don't eat as much as mine do? 

Just wait, Sister Dear.  Your day is coming.  Consider this your warning.  My sons are 13, 13 and 21.  They will consume anything and everything that isn't nailed down or made of metal.  Seriously, they have been known to start gnawing the furniture on those rare instances when they don't have something edible in each hand.  Why do you think my tables have bite marks? 

One of these days your boys will be 12, 14 and 20 and you will spend every waking moment cooking food, slopping the hogs, cleaning the kitchen, cooking again, slopping the hogs again, cleaning up again, restocking the pantry shelves, selling everything you own on eBay for extra grocery money and cooking some more!  And while you're hustling to keep the food constantly pouring down their necks, those boys will be visibly outgrowing every item of clothing in your house.  You won't have time to read blogs any more.  You won't be bored.  You will be scouring the corners of the kitchen for a forgotten crumb of bacon or crust of moldy sandwich or speck of pepperoni so that you don't starve to death yourself!  Oh!  And looking with longing at that light...way, way down there at the end of that tunnel of food prep...that golden world where the ravenous grizzlies have completed the transformation into human men-folk, graduated school, gotten real jobs, and are indeed supporting themselves and buying their OWN GROCERIES! 

And maybe bringing their tired old mom a hamburger of thanks every now and then. 

Meanwhile, may I point out to you, Favorite Sistah, that there are in fact hundreds of thousand...perhaps even millions upon millions, of other blogs out there.  Blogs that update on a near-daily basis.  Blogs that are entertaining and lively.  Blogs that you'd enjoy reading while you luxuriate in your hot tub full of bubbles, eating your bon-bons and drinking chocolate wine, listening to 80's ballads and facebooking while your babies are in school. 

Cause I know good and well that's what you do all day! ;)

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