"Soaring Eagle to Mama Eagle. Come in Mama Eagle."
"Yeah, this is Mom, whaddayawant?"
"You're supposed to say 'Go ahead Soaring Eagle' remember? Over."
"Oh. Right. Got it. Mama Eagle is listening...go ahead."
"Mom. I mean, Mama Eagle. I got a visual on some deer tracks at 10 degrees SW, 210 degrees N, approximately one half mile from the four-way on the path in the woods...do you copy?"
"Deer tracks. Half mile. In the woods. Proceeding towards clearing now. Do you read me?"
"Sure thing! That's a big ten-four, good buddy!"
"Approaching clearing. Large broad-winged hawk circling, do you copy?"
"I'm trying to cook dinner son, do you mind?"
"Negative, Mama Eagle, I need contact with base at all times while on this mission. Do not, I repeat, do NOT desert your post! Remain in contact at all times until Soaring Eagle has safely landed. Do. You. Copy?"
"For goodness sakes...Mama Eagle copies. And she's gonna FEED you to an eagle if you don't knock it off. Isn't this what your twin is for??"
"Lazy Eagle is no good to me on this op."
"Lazy Eagle is reading...hey did you take your book with you? Aren't you supposed to be reading for Lit?"
"Mama Eagle, have lost trail! Repeat Soaring Eagle has lost the trail! Trying to locate the path...having trouble with compass...will have to wait for dark and navigate by stars."
"Get your butt back to this house and read that book...do you copy??"
"Appears to be a rabid wolf chasing Soaring Eagle! Send reinforcements! Attack! Attack! I'm bit...that's it for me, Mama Eagle...send the body bag!"
"If I have to come find you in those woods you're gonna need a body bag, mister!"
"Did...not...copy...last...transmission...fading...fast...love you, Mom."
"Dead meat. You are dead meat."
"Soaring Eagle over and out..."
Yes...this is how a boy, his gun, his compass, and his walkie-talkie get out of doing his schoolwork. For a little while anyway...