Hello, my name is Stephanie and I have a problem.
Actually, I don't have a problem so much as I have a daughter.
That's her...purple shirt...on the right...
I love my daughter. She's an amazing young lady. But she's uh...how should I put this nicely?
She suffers from Neatness Incapability Syndrome.
She's Cleanliness Challenged.
She can't seem to put her crap back where it belongs so she leaves it all over the house and her mother (that would be me) is being driven slowly out of her mind!
The girl has just now, at this very moment, backed her truck out of the driveway (and over the grass in the front yard and into the woods across the street narrowly missing the line of pine trees) and driven off to school, leaving utter chaos in her wake.
On the kitchen table: One college Calculus textbook, the "crust" from a brown sugar-cinnamon Pop Tart, a pink plastic lunch container from last week that she pulled out of her Vera Bradley lunch bag before heading out the door.
In the living room: A lighted make-up mirror, a red fleece blanket with multi-colored hearts, dirty socks she took off yesterday afternoon and left under the coffee table, a half-empty glass of tea from this morning, three pens, a bobby pin and 8 pennies she removed from her purse.
In the hallway: A hot pink hair dryer on the floor just outside her bathroom door. The towel that she used when washing her hair this morning.
On MY BED: The white tank top she borrowed yesterday that I asked her to return so it could be washed so naturally she flung it in my direction rather than putting it in the laundry basket.
In MY bathroom: Her toothbrush, her toothpaste, her pajamas, an empty bottle of conditioner on the floor (because she was in too big a hurry to throw it in the trash can two feet away??) and the tweezers, eyelash curler, various items she used to make herself presentable for her day.
I have three boys. And a husband. They're no where near as messy as the girl. They keep their junk in their rooms. They bring things out and they put things away. They use stuff; they put stuff back where it goes. They eat food. They throw away their garbage. They put dishes in the sink or in the dishwasher.
Clearly my daughter was born to be a royal princess with handmaidens and a staff of servants.
Or a bag lady.
I'm seriously considering calling the sanitation department to see how much it costs to rent a dumpster. I'll have it parked outside her bedroom window and each morning when she leaves for school, I'll pick up her belonging and toss them in! At least they'll all be in one place! Right??