Monday, October 11, 2010

Miley, honey...

Creation shows me what to do

I'm dancing on the floor with you
And when you touch my hand, I go crazy yeah
The music tells me what to feel
Like you now but, is it real
By the time we say goodnight
I'll know if this is right

And I feel you coming through my veins
Am I into you or is the music too blame?

Who owns my heart?Is it love,
Or is it art?
Cause' the way you've got
Your body moving,
It's got me confused
And, I can't tell
If it's the beat or sparks

The room is full but all I see is

The way your eyes just blaze through me
Like fire in the dark, we're like living art
And it hits me like a tidal wave
Are you feelin' me or is the music too play

You know I wanna believe,
That we're a masterpiece.
But sometimes its hard
to tell in the dark

So come on baby
Keep provoking me
Keep on roping me
Like a rodeo
Baby pull me close

Miley,  for real??

Now, admittedly, I know nothing about the music business and even less about the pressures of Hollywood or where ever it is that you're singing and gyrating and filming your videos.  I do, however, know what sounds good.  And what doesn't.  And what a seventeen year old should be doing with her time and creative talents.

Miley,  first of all, you need to fire your songwriter.  Because this song?  Makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.  If you wrote this all by yourself, sweetie, then I completely understand.  You'd benefit from some assistance in further developing your skills.  Just because something rhymes does not make it a good song.  The first few times I heard this one, I wondered, "Who the heck is ART??" 

It's also rather obvious that you need a few dance lessons.  You move like you're having a bad reaction to prescription medication out there on the dance floor.  It isn't natural.  It isn't cool.  And it certainly isn't sexy, which is what I gather you're sort of aiming for here...

Perhaps it's difficult to actually BE sexy when you're seventeen and have no concept OF sexy beyond what your daddy has TOLD you is sexy. 

I read somewhere that you want to be more like Lady Gaga.  Hmm.  Now this is an aspiration I sincerely hope my own seventeen year old daughter never reaches for.  Unless it's for Halloween.  However, I can see why you'd want to be like Gaga.  Really.  I mean she gets a LOT of attention these days.  She gets to dress in any way, shape, form, style or concoction of her choosing and since people expect her to look completely insane, it's all good.  But Miley...she's an adult.  If she wants to wear her bra and panties with high heels in public and sing about getting confused with some dude in the dark, well, that's totally her prerogative.  YOU, on the other hand, are a CHILD.  Yes, Miley dear, seventeen is still a child.  And children should cover their underpants at all times.  Unless they're three and they're hanging upside down on the monkey bars or they have to pee really bad. 

And another thing...should you be singing about wanting a guy to "rope you like a rodeo??" 

I think not!

This is just my humble opinion as a mom from good old South Carolina who's raising her own seventeen year old.  (Thank heaven she outgrew any desire to watch you after the first season of Hannah Montana.) I'll be forever grateful that I don't have a five year old at home trying to emulate your  Or sing your...songs??

Your mama and daddy should be slapped for letting you behave this way.  YOU need a few months in a boot camp for unruly children. 

You do have talent, Miley.  You have a nice voice.  You have lots of personality! You could be wonderful. 

Wonderful is way better than sleazy!

Miley's newest video. Send the kids out in the yard before you click.

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