Let's see if any of these things can be remedied. In almost forty years, I have never:
1. Had a professional manicure. Or, well, a pedicure either. I've never understood why anyone would actually want to pay another person cash money to scrape your fingernails raw and then put paint & funky designs on them?? What's so hard about painting your own nails in the first place? It starts peeling off five minutes later anyway. And besides, they always file nails into square shapes and my nails don't grow square so it won't feel right and fingernails get in the way when you type, drive and fold laundry. It's pretty safe to say I'll probably live another twenty years without getting my nails done by a technician.
2. Set foot in a nightclub. It's true. See, I was married before I was legally old enough to enter a meat market and then once I turned twenty-one I already had a husband and a house I could drink in if I wanted to so what would have been the point? I've never missed it. At least, I don't think I have. I wouldn't know if I missed it, I guess, because I don't know what I'd miss. Smoke? Blaring music? Dancing? Crazy people? I have all that right here on any given night while dinner is burning and the kids are cutting up in the living room. So yeah, strike this one from the list as well.
3. Eaten sushi. Hmm...seaweed? No. Raw fish? No. Rice? No. Wasabi? NO. Sushi? Never.
4. Gotten a speeding ticket. I'm serious. No really! OK, so I did get pulled over once, but I was given a warning. I've been driving since 1986 and haven't gotten
5. Slept outdoors in a tent. So just to clarify here, I have slept in a tent, just not outside! It wasn't pleasant in the living room, either, so I'm fairly certain I don't want to try it under the stars. In the rain. With the bugs. Where the bears can eat me. I prefer hotel rooms with skylights. Or balconies. Or paintings of waterfalls. That's enough nature for me.
Clearly, I need to add some different things to my list. How about some ideas?? Or maybe I should just work on making a list of more things I'll NEVER do??