Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Surviving Childhood

I know what you're's been a while, hasn't it?  It's not that I haven't had anything to say.  I always have plenty to say.  I live with in a house full of fruitcakes after all, how could I not have plenty to talk about?  It's just that I haven't actually had much time to talk about stuff. 

I did, however, find the time to locate the Italics button...did you notice??

The Source Household has been bogged down lately between senior year, senior pictures, senior ads, senior graduation supplies, SAT's, ACT's, high school projects, college night, volunteer interviews, new jobs, co-op classes, science experiments, overtime, cruising the Atlantic during hurricanes, flat tires, crazy people in the woods, friends with heart-breaking family issues, grandparent illnesses, broken bones, birthday parties, burnt black-eyed peas, setting things on fire and 20th anniversary celebrations.

But my sister complains that she's bored! 

She needs something to read. 

She wants me to write something on this blog to entertain her today while all three of her boys are at school so she'll have something to do! 

Something other than eat hamburgers at Five Guys without her favorite sister, I mean.  She just had to pick a day when we're at co-op.  And after I fed her a delicious lunch at my own house last week, too!  That's gratitude for you.

Just for you, dear sister, I've designed a little trip down memory lane.  Take a look at the photos I've posted.  I think you'll agree with me that it's an outright miracle that either one of us survived the 70's. 

Me, Mendy, Mom's Elbow & My Handsome Hubby's Butt.   Anniversary Party 2010

 Me, 1971, seated in a wooden swing with no seat belt!  If I remember correctly, those swings pinched the heck out of little fingers when the bar came down, too!  (Yes, I certainly do recall my fingers being pinched at 8 months of age.  Tragedy has a way of sticking with you, you know!)

Me again.  1971.  Some kind of car seat prototype/infant torture device.  I suppose this was actually a tiny bit safer than just laying the baby on the front seat, which is what my parents did before they got this ugly green thing.  I'm betting I would have gone through the windshield like a projectile missile if they'd slammed on the brakes, but at least I wouldn't have landed on the filthy floor mat.  Right??

 The back of this one's captioned "Stephanie, 8 months old, just learning to stand by herself!"
Oh the joy of an infant's milestones!  Let's stand the baby up on her wobbly legs on the concrete driveway in between the metal car bumper and the boat trailer!!  If she busts her face wide open we can always have her sewn back together!

Clearly, my mom was light-years ahead of her time when it came to child-rearing practices.  What?  You thought only 21st century parents plopped their toddlers in bouncy seats and stuffed them with cookies to buy a few minutes peace?? 
Not so!

Lest you think it was only me our parents were trying to get rid's one of my sweet (??!) baby sister, 1973, in her lead-based-paint-laden crib complete with wooden slats spaced just far enough apart to allow a little one's head to get stuck.  Also, please note the charming choking-hazard, freaky clown mobile.  And the pillow.  And the end posts made just for hanging.

This one seems like an innocent photo of two adorable little girls enjoying a ride on their backyard swing set. 
So deceiving! 
What you don't see are the diaper pins in my sister's cloth diaper!  Little spikes of danger!  The pink plastic choking-hazard barrette in my hair.  The jingle bells on her tiny shoes!!  Poor thing, nobody even put pants on the child! vacations, 70's style.  Stick the baby in the bunk over the table.  The three year old will stop her from rolling to her doom!

 Baby.  In a BOAT.  Sure, she's wearing a life vest.  Look how huge it is on her.  She'd have fallen right through it and sunk to the bottom of the lake. 

 Double the Danger!  Let's light the candles on the cake right in front of the baby!  Just in case she doesn't stick her own fingers in the flames, she can knock it off onto her cousin's head!  (Not going to mention the telephone she could have pulled down on herself or the mounds of tin foil she could have eaten.  Or the putrid golden walls.  Or the tacky wallpaper. Nope, not gonna mention those...)

 Baby Finger-Remover.  Also known as Pinchy Gate!  This is why my sister is a mental case.  She was imprisoned in tha back of the house all by herself for hours at a time.  I can still her hear screams of loneliness...they haunt me to this day...

Not really.  I mean, she did scream, but it didn't really matter where she was.  She just screamed.  A lot.  Can you blame her?  She never got to wear any pants!  And the sound of bells followed her everywhere she went!

 I'm not sure I even have any words for this one. "Look, honey!  Mountains! Set the little one on the guard rail by the cliff...and tell her sister to hang on tight!"

These pictures give me heart palpitations.  Those poor, sweet, precious little girls!  They lived life on the edge, it seems.  What I'm wondering in the world did we manage to grow up??  With all our fingers and toes?  And in relatively good mental health? 

I'll be forty in a few months. 

How did I live that long??!! know I'm kidding!  Right??!


Kiy said...

Hahaha, it really IS amazing that kids made it 'back then', isn't it? I wonder, will your sister ever complain again about being bored? :)

The sentence I am still chuckling over: "And the sound of bells followed her everywhere she went!"

Oh, and Five Guys? We were there the week before all heck broke loose. Geesh, we miss all the excitement. NOT! :)

See Jamie blog said...

Cute old photos. And wow, we really live dangerously "back then", didn't we? :)

mendyc said...

I wonder what new things will be out when our kids are parents and if they'll be accusing us of trying to kill them one day? lol

Teresa =) said...

Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I remember my parents keeping the TV on a rickety TV we bolt our appliances and heavy furniture to the wall! Where's the adventure in that?!

This was one of the FUNNIEST blog posts you've written...and you're pretty known in this house for your funny posts!

Teresa =)

Anonymous said...

Just for your the photo of you holding onto the front of the car beside the boat trailer...just as I took that photo, you let go of the car and fell on your face and skinned the tip of your nose and your forehead!