Friday, August 27, 2010

The Dingbat Diaries, Dog Wash Edition

Lucy the Demon Dog needed her end-of-summer bath.  Oh boy, did she ever need her end-of-summer bath!  After months of playing frisbee, catching tennis balls, swimming laps in the pool, practicing her olympic dive, rolling in the dirt, chasing (pink) birds from the yard to protect her family, and taking naps in the sunshine on the back deck, she was one nasty little mutt! 

The boys had the chore of hosing Lusy down in the back yard since she was too stinky to have her usual spa treatment in the kitchen sink.  They asked me just how they were supposed to manage soaping up a hyper-active chiweenie if she wasn't confined...Lucy is very good about behaving for her bath when she's inside the house...not so much outside.  I told them to go find a bucket, fill it with water and stick her in it.  Of course, those two couldn't find a bucket because one wasn't sitting right smack in their line of vision with a "BUCKET" sign on it. 

"Go look in the garage for the bucket your sister used to wash her truck!"  I said. 

Minutes later, Ryan came into the kitchen and asked for one of my dish towels.  He said he needed it to plug up the hole.  The hole in the bucket.  So the water wouldn't drain out. 

Because a dish rag will totally keep WATER from running out of a bucket with a HOLE in it, right?? 

The Oldest looked at him like he was from another planet.  I just shook my head and handed him a dish towel.  He has to learn these things for himself I guess.

Thirty minutes later, the stooges have chased Lucy down and washed her.  They have presented me with a shining clean, banana split-smelling, happy little dog.  They have left my dish towel in a holey bucket on the soaking wet back deck.  And they have removed ALL doubt as to whether they will ever have enough common sense to live out in the wide world on their own one day...

Because they didn't go to the garage and get the car washing bucket like I told them to.  Why walk all the way around the house when there's a perfectly good 5 gallon plastic bucket right there on the deck?  Never mind that their father has made the bucket into a self-watering vegetable-growing system with pipes and gravel and such.  Never mind that the bucket contains ten pounds of nutrient-rich soil, fertilizer and a lovelySQUASH PLANT.  Just haul the bucket over to the railing, DUMP the contents OVER the deck and onto the GRASS, leave it THERE and plug up the drainage hole with your mom's dish towel so you can wash the freaking DOG in it! 

THAT'S using your brain right there! 

1 comment:

mendyc said...

Maybe it's time to quit home schooling them. lol