If you've visited here more than once or twice, you may have read before about my very literal twin who takes everything at face value and has no concept of sarcasm. He thinks that people say what they mean and mean what they say....exactly what they say. Precisely what they say. It can be nerve wracking, to say the least.
He's gotten much better about it over the last year or two, thank goodness. I can send him to clean up behind Lucy the Demon Dog and he'll actually clean up ALL of the mess instead of just the part I specifically mentioned in my instructions. Likewise, I can ask him to load the dishwasher and expect that he'll remove the clean dishes before loading the dirty ones...even if I forgot to explain that he should. So...progress!
Now, he's driving me out of my mind with questions. And they aren't your average 12-almost-13-year-old questions. He's not asking "When can I have a cell phone?" or "Can I see this movie?" or "Can my buddy spend the night?" No. Nothing like that.
He asks me...about 185 times each day...obvious questions. Questions that he already knows the answer to. Questions that any idiot would know the answer to.
Here are a few examples, just so you can see what I'm talking about:
The boy walks into the kitchen (which is warm from the oven and filled with the scent of cake that has just come out of the oven) and observes his mother spreading chocolate frosting onto the freshly baked cake. He looks around and asks, "What are you doing, Mom? Making a cake?"
Or, the boy approaches the swimming pool, sees his mom and sister lying on floats, smeared with tanning lotion, wearing sunglasses and baking in the sun. He asks, "What are you doing, Mom? Laying out?"
Or, the boy walks into the darkened bedroom at eleven-thirty pm, his father is snoring on his side of the bed, his mom is under the covers, propped on a pillow, book in hand. Naturally, he asks, "So, Mom, what are you doing? Reading before you fall asleep?"
He does this ALL day LONG. And I really want to look at him and say "No, Son, I'm not making a cake, I'm painting my toenails! Don't you see that? Whatever gave you the impression I was baking something?"
And I'm wondering...is he the only kid that does this? Is he just trying to make conversation? Does he really not know what's going on??
Or maybe....maybe...he's just trying to trick me. Because I know what comes next. Invariably, just as soon as I answer "Yes, I'm doing exactly what it looks like I'm doing." he's going to start in on his all-time-favorite topic of discussion.
LEGOS. How many he has, how he has arranged them this hour, how he will be arranging them the next hour, how many new sets he has enough money to buy, and how much they cost, and how many of each size and color of each block will be in the next set he buys, and how he will arrange the new sets and then rearrange them, and what he would do if he could go to the Lego store and what he would buy there and how he would build this and that and Lego, Lego, Lego to infinity and beyond!
Not that I mind all that much. I mean, he's an almost 13 year old boy and he wants to talk to his mother, so that's a huge plus, right? The fact that he's willing to talk about something other than food sometimes, that's another plus. If he's going to have a one-track mind right now, better that it's stuck on Legos than girls for now...right??
I wouldn't mind the single-mindedness so much if he would stop with the ridiculous questions, though. I mean, if he doesn't understand what it looks like I'm doing, fine...ask. But when I'm sitting there with a basket of clean laundry at my feet and I'm actually in the process of folding a shirt, is it really necessary to ask me if I'm folding the laundry??
Perhaps he'll outgrow this little quirk. Or not. Maybe he needs an inquisitive mind. Maybe he's preparing to be the next nutty professor. Or take Dr. Spencer Reed's place on Criminal Minds.