Saturday, March 13, 2010

My Life in a Movie!

Yesterday a Very-Good-Bloggy-Buddy-Whom-I've-Never-Met (also known as Tonggu Mom) shared a post about a movie that mirrored her umm...maybe not so pleasant...days in junior high and high school. Her movie was Never Been Kissed, which if I'm not mistaken stars Drew Barrymore. I like Drew Barrymore. She's been one of my faves ever since she taught E.T. to talk! I mean, it's not your average five year old that teaches a creature from outer space to communicate in English. That takes something special, I think we can all agree.

But anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah, so apparently Tonggu Momma was something of a dork back in school. Well, really I had no idea. I am not even name-calling y'all, she sort of admits it right there in her post. She walked into walls! And doors! She didn't talk to cool people. She remembers what her English teachers looked like, for heavens sake! Who looked at English teachers when they were sixteen? Who went to English class?? Not me! See what I mean? Dork. Obviously. Poor thing. If I had known what a nerd she was, I probably wouldn't have let her comment on my blog. What if someone SAW that I let her talk to me??

Gag me. With a spoon.

Just kidding TM, you know I love ya!

So Tonggu Momma posed the question..."What movies or shows take you back in time to those days of adolescent angst and insecurities?" And I gave it some serious thought. If we're talking about Junior High, well, just purely based on title alone (not adventure) I'd have to say The Goonies. Because as awesome as I thought my friends and I were in seventh grade, seriously? Goobers.

However, if I had to sum up my high school years in one fantastic film, it would have to be...


Darling Daughter...this is for you, dear. Stop reading now and go do your homework. For real. When Mommy was in high school she was well-behaved and very boring. She always went to school on time, was never tardy and always turned in her homework! OK? And anyway it's none of your business! You have to do what I say not what I did.

Go away now!


Is she gone?


Let's continue shall we?

The movie that most depicts what I did throughout my high school years is:

OK, so I wasn't a boy in high school. And I didn't have friends named Cameron or Sloane. Also, I never drove a Ferrari or lived in Chicago. Or sang a German song in a parade.

So how is this movie relevant, you ask? (You did ask, right?)

Well, let me explain.

You see, I had this best friend. (BFF's, that what we called ourselves. Not "Besties" that's so '90's. And also there were other names that we had for each other, but no one else would understand them, would they Pour Buddy??) I won't mention her actual name, because her name is the same as mine, and anyway she knows who she is. Plus I'm putting her picture at the bottom of this post. Also, I had this boyfriend. This boyfriend who was older than me. (Hi Hubby!) By four years. As in, he was twenty and I was sixteen. (Interestingly enough, so are two of my children at this very moment...20 and 16, that is. Scary!!) So he wasn't even IN high school any more. Not fair! And BFF's and I? Well, we were what you would call "academic" during our teen years. No. We weren't.

Shocking, isn't it? Nowadays you'd never be able to tell that I wasn't a nose-in-the-books straight A kinda girl, would you?

But see, we were more interested in having FUN! And fun didn't always include sitting at a desk taking a vocabulary quiz on Lord of the Flies.

Or actually, fun NEVER included a vocabulary quiz. Or the word quiz.


So we ditched school. A lot. In fact, Ferris Bueller? He was absent nine times. Really. Mr. Rooney told his mother so. "Nine time?" "NINE. TIMES!" And I'm here to tell you that I so totally busted that attendance record wide open!

Sometimes we would accomplish this truancy by sneaking out the side door when it was time to change classes, heading around by the gymnasium, ducking down so that the office ladies wouldn't see out heads as we crept out between the cars. We'd get into one of our cars (usually hers because my dad had caught on to our antics and would randomly ride past the school parking lot to make sure my car was in its spot) and shut the doors very carefully so as not to alert anyone to our getaway. Then we'd hold out breath until we got off of school property and made it to...FREEDOM!

Some days we'd rush to Burger King and pick up something decent (as opposed to a Snickers bar and a Diet Coke) for lunch that we'd bring back to the cafeteria and eat in front of those poor souls who'd stayed at school. Other times, we'd high-tail it all the way to her house and back before the next bell rang...grabbing a sandwich and catching up on soaps while her step-dad snoozed down the hall because he worked night shift. And some days? Some days we just didn't go back to school. We'd hang out at the mall all day or go to the movies. Or watch the boat races at the river. Or go hang out with a friend who really WAS sick at home. If it was really sunny we'd head to the lake and lay out by the water talking about our boyfriends. And speaking of boyfriends...

My handsome, trouble-making, sneaky older boyfriend? Well, he was an expert at getting me out of school! See, any time it rained, he'd park in my spot and wait for me to arrive at school. Then we'd put MY car in the parking place, I'd jump into his racy black Trans-Am, and we'd cruise over to his house. After a breakfast of egg sandwiches and sweet tea, we'd have to whole day to ourselves. To um...sit on the sofa watching PBS and studying Algebra. (Darling Daughter, I thought I told you to go away? And if you're still reading, well, sweetie, Daddy and I never kissed until we got married! I promise!) As long as I was back in time to get in my car on go home on time, no one was ever the wiser.

Except for my teachers who definitely knew I'd been absent. But I was really good at the innocent "Yes Ma'am, I WAS at school yesterday, but I was feeling sick and Mrs. So and So let me sit in her office third period." Then there was the problem of an excuse note from my dad. But since my dad had never signed a school paper, memo, report card or excuse note for me in his life the school had absolutely no way to tell that the squiggles I forged weren't his. Home free! I think I had something like 35 excused absences during Junior year.

I was...ahem...sick a lot.

And also I failed Algebra II.

Oh, uh, HI MOM! What are you doing here? Look, someone hi-jacked my blog today and I have no clue what they're talking about. Seriously. I'm going to have to change my password, I guess!

When I look back on those years, I do wish I had paid a little more attention to things like grades. And homework. And learning. Stuff like that. I know I could have made better grades, but I didn't actually care.

On the other hand...I had fun. I lived life. I have some awesome memories.

And a terrific movie to remind me of those carefree days when being sneaky and getting away with something was such a thrill!

Left to right...The Other Steph, Ricky, Me, and the Hubby.


Laura Harris Easley said...

Love it!! I kinda, sorta, maybe remember those wild girls! They were tip top!

LucisMomma said...

visiting from Tonggu Momma's blog. So glad you had friends. I was a dork like TM. Totally.

LucisMomma said...

PS--you are hilarious!

The Momster said...

That's just hilarious!

a Tonggu Momma said...

*gasp* I thought I left a comment days ago! Guess I was too busy laughing...

Just so you know, if I had been in Ferris Buellar's Day Off, I probably would have been his sister.

Still like me???

mendyc said...

I am shocked and so ashamed! I can't believe we're related!