Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Dingbat Diaries, (screaming phone call edition)

~ring, ring~
~ring, ring~

(That would be my cell phone, ya'll.)

"Hello?"

"SHRIEK!! Sqeeeeeaaallll!! OMG!OMG!OMG! Mommmmmm!!!"

"Uh...do I know you??"

"Mommeeeeee! OMG I've gotta tell you somethiiiiiiing!! Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? SqeeeeEEEEEal!"

"Who is this again?"

"MAMA! Stop it. It's MEEE! I'm so happy!! I gotta tell you! EEeeek! Guess what???"

"Is there an axe murderer chasing you down the road? Because I really can't think of any better reason for you to call me up and scream in my ear. Unless...wait! Did you figure out how to put the truck in reverse?! And now you don't have to wait until the parking lot clears out after school so you can just drive straight out of your space??"

"Mooommm....No! Ugh....you know I hate backing up! That's not it!

"You spelled your name right on your History test today? I told you practicing would pay off!"

"Mo-THER! Guess what just happened? He asked me out! Shrieeek!"

"Who did?"

"Mom...for real?!"

"Oh! Wait...do you mean Little Jack Sparrow*?"

"YES! We were walking...to the truck after school...and it was raining..."

"Yeah, well, it still is raining, Genius!

"But LISTEN! And then he said he had to ask me something...and I had to hold the umbrella over my face because rain was blowing all in my eyes...and he asked if I'd go out with him...and I was like...OMG...OMG!! Cause I didn't think he was about to ask me THAT I thought it was about lunch tomorrow or Spanish homework and like I mean I thought we were just friends and all but he said he thought we should be more can you believe it and then when he said that I couldn't even think and I ran and got in the truck and called YOU RIGHT AWAY!! SQUEAL!!"

"Well, so what did you say?"

"Say?"

"Say. To Little Jack Sparrow? Who just asked you out?? Hellooo?"

"Oh CRAP!"

"What?"

"I didn't tell him ANYTHING! I was so excited I got in the truck and screamed! Then I called you!!"

"Sweetheart...where is the boy??"

"Well, umm...he's over there in his truck...looking at me! Ha ha."

"And do you want to be his girlfriend?"

"OF COURSE! Duh."

"And do you think that just maybe you should let the poor fellow KNOW THAT NOW??"

"OK. Let me go so I can text him!"

Not too worried about the love-life of a certain sixteen year old girl. I mean, if this is any indication. If she's just going to continue to scream and run away when boys ask her out, clearly she won't be running off and getting married any time soon. Maybe we should work with her on appropriate responses when young boys declare their interest and ask her out? An eloquent answer, a graceful exit, and a calm drive home before exploding into fits of giggles, perhaps?

Tomorrow I will share with you (assuming she doesn't kill me when she reads this post) her delightful reply when they actually DID go out, had lunch in the park, drove around a bit, and he wasn't ready to take her home just yet so he asked her where else she wanted to go.

Oh...don't worry...he wasn't about to try anything. He just wanted to know if she'd like to hang out at WalMart or something. After all, she could totally beat him up if she really wanted to.

**Little Jack Sparrow...well, the boy and DD have had numerous lengthy text message conversations about her dream of owning a boat and sailing the British Virgin Islands when she's a grown up doctor and all. He wants to go with her when she sails the Caribbean Seas. But only if he can swing from the rigging of the sailboat with a knife in his teeth...like a pirate!











2 comments:

Chelsea Gour said...

That girl just cracks me up!

Hezra said...

Heh. yeah. calm, cool and collected. THAT's the way to win a fella... And being cute doesn't hurt. Well, 1 outta 4 ain't bad. ;-) Great job snagging the guy! And if he is half as dreamy as Johnny Depp he has MY vote.