Thursday, February 18, 2010

High School or Prison?

I received a covert text message around 9 am yesterday morning.

A furtively typed plea for help.

A cry for justice secretly smuggled through cyber-space under cover of bookbag and desk.

I heard the ding dong sound of an incoming message while going over prepositional phrases with the twins. Upon glancing at my phone, I discovered the message was from Darling Daughter. Who was in class. At the high school.

Hmmm. Considering the stiff penalties for getting caught using a cell phone on campus, it had better be important.

Like...life-or-death-important.

"MOM! Someone wrote all over the walls in one of the girl's bathrooms so they've roped off the doors of ALL 12 girl's rooms and we aren't allowed to PEE! AT ALL. ALL DAY! HELP!"


OK, yeah. That qualifies as life-or-death-important in my book.

I texted her back.

"Seriously? How can they stop 600 girls from peeing for 8 hours??"

"Mom. For real. If we need to go, we have to ask our teacher, get a pass, go to the attendance office and ask THEM permission to stand in line for ONE toilet. IF they believe we really have to pee and let us in."

"What about the boys? Can they pee?"

"Do something! Call the school! This is cruel!"

So umm...yeah. Apparently the principal decided that since SOMEONE...girl or boy, man or woman, student or staff member or just some random graffiti artist...defaced school property in one of the female facilities, they wouldn't allow ANY female student to relieve themselves (or take care of other business) on Tuesday. Unless they passed the pee radar.

How does a high school office secretary determine if a 16 year old girl really needs to urinate anyway? How could they possibly verify which one young lady is about to explode in a shower of umm...whatever...while another is just trying to get out of taking her History test?

And did the faculty and staff suffer the same fate? I think not. The women that work at the school were at liberty to use the restrooms at their discretion. Any time they felt the urge. The privilege of adulthood...freedom to pee at will.

It seems to me that the people in charge of this particular high school are power-drunken tyrants who delight in the oppression of teenage girls. I have a word of advice for them. If they plan to continue denying access to bathrooms, they may want to consider establishing a "no liquids during the school day" policy as well. Better to have a dehydrated student body than to have to hire more custodians to mop up all the accidents.

Also...be warned. My daughter has been advised to go wherever she has to in the event that things get desperate. Holding it for that long can't be healthy. She will barge into faculty restrooms or...the boys room...but only if it becomes absolutely neccessary! Unless I can find the pink plastic bedpan from my last hospital stay! That might be a better plan!

3 comments:

Hezra said...

ha ha ha, ok, while the situation is serious and sad, your humor makes it hysterical. So sweet that her one call was mom. That school system is crazy!!! yep, I would say, send the bedpan. They will get tired of girls mooning the entire student body, and your dd can make a killing charging 50 cents a use... As long as no one gets out a sharpie and writes on THAT. hmm, but yes, where to dump it? OH I know! The faculty restroom!!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Um... am I the only one thinking about times young ladies might need to use the restroom for other relevant, but non-pee-related activities? Because you can't really hold THAT.

lifeofthedifferentlyabled said...

do i hear missed school for severe kidney issues in the female student population... holy UTI BATMAN
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