Monday, December 28, 2009

And another thing...

Whatever happened to personal responsibilty? Whatever happened to common sense??

Yesterday I fussed about schools banning ice creams, chocolate milk and Rice Krispie treats. Today I'd like to discuss the dwindling intelligence and common sense in our society.

I'm talking about the fact that every stinking item you purchase has a stupid warning label stuck on it these day. And the warnings? They warn you of things no human with half a functioning brain cell would have thought up in the first place.

For instance: My daughter received a stress ball in her stocking from Santa. It looks like this:



Except is has a cute little smiley face on it instead of the Canon logo. The box in which it came bears the stern warning:

"Do not place in microwave oven. Do not freeze."

The tiny plastic bag that the actual stress ball was wrapped in inside the box admonishes:

"This bag is not a toy!"

Well, darn. Darling Daughter was heartbroken to realize that she had not only had she NOT been given a plastic-bag-toy for Christmas, but she was going to be prevented from microwaving her new toy. Why bother HAVING Christmas if you can't nuke your gifts??

(Considering the country in which the stress ball was manufactured, a better warning might have been: "Stay away from this thing. It's full of lead and melamine!")


These ridiculous warnings made me dig further. I started looking at the labels on the other Christmas junk. Pip Squeak was given a set of Perfect Push-Up thingies.



My miniature body-builder was so excited to have another way to pump up his little biceps and shoulders. Unfortunately, I cannot allow him try out the Perfect Pushups. The instructions caution:

"Sport training can result in serious or fatal injury!" and also "Do not excerise without first consulting your physician."

Well now. Clearly I wouldn't be practicing good-mothership if I let my twelve year old use his own arms to push his own body weight off the floor. I mean...what if he fell?? Onto the floor?? From six inches up?? He might bump his chin. It could be FATAL! Says so right there on the insert.

Also...our pediatrician won't be in until Monday, so I can't ask her if she thinks it will be OK.

The funny thing is, the BBQ tools that my hubby received don't warn of anything except not putting them in the dishwasher. Skewers, knives and long stabby forks? How about "Don't run while carrying?" or "Not for use in baby cribs and play pens."

The Samurai Swords that the Oldest gave our twins? Nothing. Nada. No dire predictions of doom or reminders not to stab your brother in the belly. Ahh...but luckily my daughter's new pink zebra print hair dryer makes it clear that she should "Never use while sleeping or bathing."

1 comment:

Hezra said...

lol, yes I KNOW!! I wonder these things too. WHY do they put such stupid disclaimers on the relatively safe stuff then the really dangerous ones. NOTHING! just thought you should know, we received TWO of the lovely guns that make tons of noise. AND a 1 million pice bead jewelry making kit. Do my parents love me? I think I need therapy to figure this out... and pills to keep from going crazy from the sounds. even earplugs don't help...