Friday, November 27, 2009

Doomsday, Devastation and Defensive Driving

Last week the Hubby and I went out and saw a movie. Together. Without children. In the actual movie theater.

I know.

It's usually a Netflix in the living room with the twins and it's rated PG.

You may be wondering what movie we chose to see on our rare evening out.

What, you weren't wondering? Whatever. It's my blog. I'm telling you anyway.

We saw 2012...the latest "end of the world" movie about death and destruction. Ugh. It wasn't my first pick, but considering we had been invited out by the Oldest and his friend and they chose the movie, I guess it could have been worse.

It could have been Twilight.

Eww...creeps me out just thinking about it.

Anyway, 2012 turned out to be an excellent choice. Because I totally love movies in which small children are subjected to terrifying occurrences such as entire cities being sucked into cavernous pits of molten lava. Shrieking and screaming and wailing little people in perilous danger make the date night experience so much nicer. Especially while you're own children are at the the care of their big sister. Makes for a relaxing evening.

But there was another reason why 2012 turned out to be the perfect movie at the perfect time. Stay with me here, and I will explain.

See, lately Darling Daughter has begun to moan and groan and whine about the unfairness of not having her driver's license when EVERY. ONE. ELSE. SHE. KNOWS. already has the ability to drive all by themselves. Everyone. There is not a single teenager this side of the Mississippi besides her that does not already have their license. At least not at her school. So she says.

The Hubby and I have debated hiring the local driver education guy to provide a little more training in good habits behind the wheel such as: "Staying on Your Own Side of the Road" and "Not Ducking and Squealing When Squirrels Run Across the Road." Also the ever-important "No Applying Mascara at Redlights!" We want her to be adequately prepared before we subject the entire town to Darling Daughter on Wheels. We just weren't sure if the local instructor could teach her to handle any situation. We searched the yellow pages, looking for a qualified defensive driving instructor who could teach our girl some mad skillz...all to no avail.

And then...and then we went to see 2012. And the dilemma was solved. A lightbulb popped up right over my head, and I knew what we had to do!

It became quite clear that we need to hire this man:

Yes, that's right. John Cusack. He needs to come and teach Darling Daughter how to drive. Why? Well, because he can totally drive a limo through a crashing building during an earthquake WHILE the freeway overpass falls down and LA slides off the continent into the Pacific Ocean! And if that weren't enough, he can drive an ancient Winnebago ON FIRE down a mountain at top speed through a shower of earth-chunks spewing out of a super-volcano with clouds of ash and rivers of pyroclastic flow hurtling toward him!

He showed off his driving technique throughout most of the movie. He did not even panic! Not once! He even remembered to use his turn signals!

Now THAT'S a good driver!

Somebody get his agent on the phone. My daughter wants her license.


Hezra said...

ha ha ha!Love the idea, I am sure he is a very nice man too! I had such a crush on him when "Say anything" came out...
anyway and about Twilight-- have you READ it yet?? I loved it. And The movie New Moon was better than TWilights movie. Okay, I will give you a break now, it is your blog after all. and you are allowed your own opinions. but then you left this little comment box thingy all open for my opinion... what were you thinking??

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