Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Can I Share Something Embarrassing?

I've tried to create a friendly and inviting atmosphere of sisterhood here on my blog. An atmosphere where fellow bloggers feel free to share about the things that occur in their lives. So, it occurred to me that perhaps I should share this funny little occurrence that occurred to me yesterday in the hopes that you will learn something from it. And in learning from the occurrence, you could then prevent the funny little occurrence from occurring to you.

Because here at The Source I'm all about helpful tidbits of information.

Just in case you didn't know.

And there's a moral to this story, too. So keep reading...

Here's what went down:

Yesterday morning I woke up around 3 am sneezing my fool head off. Being the kind and loving wife that I am, after 46 or 47 sneezes I hauled my lousy, mucus-ridden carcass out of the bed and dragged a blanket down into the living room where I could make all the racket I wanted without waking up my hubby. Or the kids. Or the dog. Or the neighbors. Or the neighbor's dog.

The weird thing is that I typically only sneeze like 2 or 3 times in a row. Only this episode of sneezing spells wasn't working that way. I was sneezing like over and over and over. Sort of an extended sneeze monologue. Or is it a soliloquy?

Incidentally, don't you hate sneezing? It's so disgusting, spewing particles of snot all over creation. And loud. Why can't sneezes be quiet? Because if sneezes were quiet the rest of my story wouldn't even have happened.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, the sneeze soliloquy.

So anyway, at 6 am I got up again. Time to wake Darling Daughter from her beauty slumber and make her get ready for school. I was still sneezing. Darling Daughter declared that I was grossing her out, and told me to please get away from her before I gave her some horrible disease. She loves her mommy so much y'all!

I got back into my bed, popped a few anti-sneezing pills ans squirted some nasal spray up my nose in a desperate attempt to get control over my sinuses before the Pip Squeak woke because if that child were to hear me sneezing well, let's just say that he would head for the hills!

Did I ever mention that all of our bedrooms are on the same side of the house? Yeah, so the "quiet sneeze" would have really come in handy. Unfortunately, I can't seem to sneeze quietly. All I can do is try to stifle the sneeze.

NOT a good idea.

No, not a good idea at all, as it turns out.

I was stricken once again with a string of sneezes, but in my effort to NOT wake up my twins (or the dog, or the neighbors, or the neighbors dog) I tried to stifle a huge outburst of sneezing and...

I pulled a muscle in my groin.

Or do girls have a groin? I think they do. Don't they? Do I?

Whatever that area is where your leg meets with your hip...THAT'S where I pulled the muscle. You know, because when I tried not to sneeze my body sort of jerked upright in a jack-knife position. And the muscle? It HURTS! And I cannot believe I pulled a daggum freakin' muscle trying not to sneeze.

So the helpful tidbit of information that I wanted to share with you:

"Stifling a sneeze can be hazardous to your health!"

Or, if you are a chronic sneeze-stifler, maybe you could go ahead and do some like, leg-lifts or sit-ups or something to prepare your middle muscles before you catch a cold. That might also work, but I'm not sure cause I haven't tried it.


And the moral of the story?

"Keep a box of tissue handy and just let 'er rip!"

Now. Aren't you glad you stopped by? You're welcome and have a nice day.


Hezra said...

HA! That was NOT what I was expecting. lolol Yes I think it would be a sneezing soliloquy(sp??). Sorry you have now got a cold AND a pulled muscle. I hope at least one of your children will bring you hot tea in bed. lol

mendyc said...

We are so NOT related!

Anonymous said...

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