Saturday, October 31, 2009

Oh, the horror!

My All-Time Favorite Scary Movies:

(in no particular order)

  • Poltergeist ~ They're hee-eerre!" The freaky clown, the tree that eats the boy, the chairs that make pyramids out of themselves, the creepy midget woman, the maggoty piece of chicken and the guy ripping his face off, and a happy ending for all...what's not to love about this one?

  • The Blob ~ "It crawls...It creeps...It eats you alive!" Slimy alien goo that attaches itself to you and absorbs you! Never figured out why they didn't just run away from it...or walk's not like it moved real fast or anything. I only hope that global warming never completely melts the North Pole! The best part? You can freeze it with a CO2 fire extinguisher. (Watch the 1958 version, not the remake.)

  • Psycho ~ The suspense! The knife! The shower! The DEAD MAMA! A classic horror film without gore. "Mother...isn't quite herself today."

  • An American Werewolf in London ~ This one gives my hubby the chills. All I have to do is mention the werewolf howling and shivers run up his spine. "I will not be threatened by a walking meatloaf!"

  • The Shining ~ I like this one because I can watch it knowing that it would NEVER happen to me! Why? Because I wouldn't have been stupid enough to have gone to that isolated hotel with a man who looked as sinister as Jack Nicholson in the first place!

  • Cujo ~ Awww....a sweet, cuddly puppy! Reminds me of my own demon dog...well, except maybe 120 pounds heavier and foaming at the mouth.

  • The Sixth Sense ~ I didn't even guess the twist at the end! And now that I KNOW Bruce Willis is already dead it makes watching this movie even better.

  • The Silence of The Lambs ~ Is it weird that I like this one? Probably. It really motivates me to want to get skinny, though, so no one will want to capture me and make clothes out of my skin!

  • Scary Movies I Refuse to Watch:

    • Saw (I-VIII) ~ I do NOT understand the fascination with gore and torture that makes people go see stuff like this. And why the heck are there so many of them?? Who pays to watch this trash? Evil, I tell you. Pure evil.

    • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ~ I refuse to watch this one on the grounds that all of my best friends watched it at a slumber party in 8th grade...a slumber party I was not invited to. And no one ever told me why! My fragile self-esteem was shattered. It haunts me to this day!

    • Carrie ~ Eww. Carrie's mom freaks me out! And the scene after gym class where Carrie get her period...scarred me for life. All those mean teenagers tossing pads at the poor girl and she just didn't have a clue. I despise bullies!!

    • Pet Semetary ~ Umm...moldy cats and back-from-the-dead toddlers?? No thank you!

    • The Exorcist ~ Spinning heads and projectile vomit. Boring. I see that at home every day.

    • A Nightmare on Elm Street ~ A movie in which Johnny Depp is sucked into a mattress and reduced to a puddle of blood is just not something I am willing to watch. Plus, the evil killer has no skin! That's just nasty.

  • Misery ~ I almost couldn't see Fried Green Tomatoes after seeing Kathy Bates break the writer's legs!

  • Child's Play ~ No way I'm having nightmares about a knife-wielding doll!
  • 1 comment:

    a Tonggu Momma said...

    After going to see a 9 PM showing of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 1991 (ish?), my friend's car broke down on a road aptly named "Dump Road." I have not been able to watch that movie again.