We tried to be humane about it, folks, we really tried. We met the counselor and asked for advice. We rewarded the good behavior and punished the unwanted antics by sending the offender to solitary confinement for a time. We even tried aversion therapy...shrill noises each time the offense occurred. It isn't working. We're at our wits end. We have no other choice now...we're going to have to resort to shock treatment!
Lucy is a nuisance barker. By that I mean Lucy barks. All. The. Time. At birds flying overhead. At the neighbors in THEIR yard. At my kids playing basketball. At my kids doing their homework. At LEAVES blowing through the yard. At insects landing on the vegetables in the garden. She NEVER shuts up. And it isn't just, "I have something to say" barking, either. Oh no. It's frantic yapping at top volume, "GET AWAY FROM MY YARD OR I'LL TEAR YOU TO SMITHEREENS!" frenzied, lunatic, snarling shrieks. She has to be stopped.
She has been through puppy school. She's somewhat obedient on most matters. She won't jump if you tell her to get down. She's got a few tricks up her sleeve. She goes to bed nicely at night. She has even learned to allow other humans into our home without scaring the daylights out of them. But the incessant barking outside is driving us out of our minds.
Yesterday we purchased a collar that emits a noise every time she barks. This morning we strapped it around her neck and sent the boys out to play basketball in the driveway...one of the activities guaranteed to bring on a Bark Fest. Sure enough, she started right up with the yaps. After about three minutes of confusion over the shrill beeps coming from her neck, she was no longer concerned. Lucy kept on barking and the collar kept on beeping, and she couldn't have cared less.
So...back to Petsmart with the sonic collar. We're going to pick up a static collar made for tiny dogs. It isn't the best choice, but if we can't get her under control someone is going to call the animal cops on us or pop her in the butt with BB's. I'll let you know how it goes. Please pray that it works!