Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Stupid Song Lyrics

Who thought these things up and WHY, oh WHY do we listen to them??
1. Fire on the mountain, run boys, run
The devil's in the house of the risin' sun
Chicken in the bread pan pickin' out dough
Granny does your dog bite? No child, no.
The Devil Went Down to Georgia, Charlie Daniels Band
(This one makes you want to get up and dance like Jed Clampett! But it's ridiculous!)
2. And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life.
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry.
Big Girls Don't Cry, Fergie
(Quit your whining and move on already.)
3. Your butt is mine
Gonna take you right
Just show your face
In broad daylight
I'm telling you
On how I feel
Gonna hurt your mind
Don't shoot to kill
Come on, Come on
Lay it on me, alright.
Bad, Michael Jackson
(This one's a little telling, don't you think? Your butt is mine, gonna take you right?? Never mind.)
4. Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone
And another one gone
Another one bites the dust.
Hey, I'm gonna get you, too.
Another one bites the dust.
Queen, Another One Bites the Dust
(My kids like this one. Wait...did I just admit that?)
5. De Do Do Do
De Da Da Da
Is all I want to say to you
The Police, De Do Do Do
(This one could be a Barney song.)
6. She's like the wind
Through my tree
She rides the night
next to me
She's Like the Wind, Patrick Swayze
(Good thing Patrick didn't make his living in songwriting OR singing.)
7. It was nine feet wide and six feet high,
Soft as a downy chick
It was made from the feathers of forty'leven geese
Took a whole bolt of cloth for the tick
It'd hold eight kids and four hound dogs
And a piggy we'd stole from the shed
We didn't get much sleep, but we had a lot of fun
On Grandma's feather bed.
Grandma's Feather Bed, John Denver
(OK...stupid, but it's fun to sing...by yourself...in the closet. Just hoping all those kids didn't fall off Grandma's bed...six feet HIGH? Geesh.)
8. I didn't mean to treat you bad
I didn't know just what I had
But honey now I do
And don't it make my brown eyes blue.
Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue, Crystal Gale
(Wonder if my sister remembers that this was one of her faves...way back when.)
9. Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only want to see you laughing in the purple rain.
Purple Rain, Prince
(Too many purple pills, perhaps.)
10. All I know is that to me
You look like you're lots of fun
Open up your lovin' arms
Watch out here I come
You spin me right 'round, baby
Right 'round
Like a record, baby
Right 'round, 'round, 'round
You Spin Me 'Round, Dead or Alive
(Can't listen to this without thinking of The Wedding Singer.)
11. Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was thirty years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it's the disco, but not for Lola
Still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half blind
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony,
Now she's lost her mind!
Copa Cabana, Barry Manilow
(Ugh....BARRY! I love you, but what an image...a washed up drunk at the bar in her nasty old dress.)

1 comment:

mendyc said...

You forgot this one:

All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance go rush to the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it you better gain weight
You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice ice baby vanillla (x4)

(Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice) just in case you couldn't figure that out :P

Wax a chump like a candle? Really? lol