I guess we weren't thinking clearly when we ordered our children. Oh we thought we had planned it all very carefully. Spacing the kids out by three and four years and having a girl in the middle. Ensuring that we would never have FOUR teenagers in the house at the same time. You see, the Oldest will be almost 21 years old by the time the twins turn 13. The grocery bill should have stayed somewhere in the same ballpark, trading one football player for two ravenous boys. We assumed that Oldest would be eating the majority of his meals at college or dining out with his buddies by then...and in that at least, we were right.
What we weren't counting on, however, was giving birth to a boy who has two hollow legs. And seems to be infected with a double-headed tapeworm. A boy who, at the tender age of eleven, has single-handedly added to the food bill around here and increased my trips to the store by threefold.
I have never seen a kid eat like Quatro. When I wake up on weekend mornings, I tiptoe through the house trying not to wake him. Because the instant his eyes open, his stomach begins to growl. Hunger takes over his every waking thought. "Mom, can I have a bowl of cereal and two bananas while I wait for you to cook breakfast?" "How many pancakes do I get?" "Can I have a yogurt and 25 grapes for a snack?" "She didn't finish her pancakes, can I eat them?" "What's for lunch?"
I have to limit him to three meals and 35 snacks a day because otherwise we'd have to take extra jobs and sell a few cars to keep food on the table for the rest of us. One weekend the Hubby decided to let him have whatever he asked for all day long. He figured by midday, Quatro would be sick. No such luck. By dinner time he had eaten his breakfast, an entire box of Ritz crackers, three bananas, an egg sandwich, several yogurts, and a box of Pop Tarts. I wish I was kidding. And he doesn't get any rounder...only taller.
I'm thinking about setting him up on the street corner with a sign asking for donations. If you ride by and see him, just chunk some apples and a few boxes of cereal his way.
** Thanks for all of your prayers last week. Monkey in the Middle is out of the hospital and slowly gaining back the strength to fight with his little brother over the Playstation. **