1. My mother wanted a boy. Blue cord overalls? Big clue.
2. This photo was taken in 1972 when the popular trend in baby shoes was Hard and Ugly. Because clearly Baby would never learn to walk unless her tiny feet were painfully stuffed into wood and cardboard.
3. My parents wanted a pet. Take a look at those bells on my shoes. Shouldn't those be hanging on a cat collar?
4. Or maybe they just didn't want to keep up with me. This way my feet would jingle and alert them when I fell head first into the toilet.
5. I was destined for genius. Note the big head. The better to grow a big brain, my dearie.
6. Non-slip soles had not yet been invented. Hence the strips of tape on the bottoms of those ugly shoes.
7. Apparently I was bald for quite some time.
8. Also toothless.
9. Couldn't they have pierced my ears or stuck a bow on my head??
10. I bet those shoe bells would be considered choking hazards today.
11. And the buttons on the overalls, too.
12. If I were a year old today, I would probably be wearing Crocs, a smocked dress and a bow the size of my head.
13. I think I prefer the 70's.