The twins had their 11 yr old check-up yesterday afternoon. (Yes, I know, they turned eleven 5 months ago...they're healthy and I'm busy.) The thrill of getting out of school an hour early vanished immediately upon the doctor ordering hemoglobin tests, hearing checks, peeing in cups and three shots a piece. Almost nothing is worse for a boy than three shots...but the indignity of having to pee in a small plastic cup and bring it to the nurse IN FRONT OF PEOPLE comes fairly close. And then there's this:
See the kid? The healthy one? No, not the one with the glasses and goatee. The dripping wet kid on the left. The fat one.
Yeah. That's what I said. The overweight boy. It seems that after having been weighed and measured (incorrectly, I might add) by the nurse, and having his points plotted on a growth chart, it was determined that Pip Squeak has high Body Mass Index. Hmm. Well, OK. Let's see about that shall we? Here are the facts:
The nurse measured Pip at 4 feet 3 1/2 inches. He had his knees bent a little, since this is how he stands most of the time. I told him to stand up straight and the nurse told me over her shoulder, "He's fine." Maybe, but 4' 3 1/2 makes him and inch and a half SHORTER than last year's check-up. He was measured at the orthopedist recently and was 4'5" with straight legs. When you plot his weight of 74 pounds with his height at 4'3 1/2 it gives a BMI of 85th percentile. Looks like he's headed for obesity, right? Take into consideration that the child has actual muscles and abs like his 19 yr old brother. Muscle weighs more than fat, right? It's sort of obvious that he's physically fit.
So the pediatrician, who we love dearly by the way, looks at his chart and tells me to be really careful of what he eats and how much exercise he is getting. I wonder, didn't she just LOOK at my son up and down, backwards, forwards and sideways? Does he LOOK overweight in the least to you? She didn't even catch the fact that he supposedly SHRUNK!
Not a word about the twin made of skin stretched over bones. No mention of the BMI under normal. The poor kid looks like a skinned cat with his shirt off and he doesn't have any muscle tone to speak of. He's almost 5 feet tall and only weighs 2 pounds more than his midget brother. We can wrap the Tae Kwon Do belt around him fourteen times! You can see his PELVIS in the back! And he couldn't do a whole pull-up if you paid him. Oh, he eats like a starving grizzly bear, but he just keeps getting taller and his feet keep getting bigger!
I'm not ranting. I know doctors see a million kids a day, and I know she does her best. She really cares for my kids and remembers their interests and illnesses and such. But I think we won't be putting Pip on the Atkins Diet just yet.