Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Why me?

Did you ever look at your children and wonder what in the world God was thinking when He gave them to you? Why these particular children? I've wondered sometimes exactly why He picked each one of mine out and decided these were the ones for me. Because I do not believe they randomly showed up with their specific personalities. I believe God hand-selected them, just for me. And I definitely think He's up to something.

For example, He gave us The Oldest. He was going pretty easy on us the first time around. After all, we were basically children ourselves. He didn't want to scare us too much, so He presented us with an adorable little fellow with a quick mind and a maturity beyond his years. Everything comes easy to The Oldest...grades, athletics, friends. He was the perfect child on which to practice our new parenting skills. He was well-behaved, he was sweet-natured and responsible and good. He still is. I think God was teaching us that we could do this mommy and daddy thing, and that He has it all under control even when we don't have a clue.

Enter child number two. Darling Daughter, born in Houston and known from day one as our little Texas Tornado. God must have thought we were getting a little too smug over our fine parenting skills, so he decided to rock our world! This tiny, blond, curly-headed, whirlwind did as she pleased, thank you very much. Darling Daughter meets the world head-on and smiling. Nothing stands in her way. She's taught me that we can do anything we want as long as we're willing to try hard enough. She was put on this earth to remind us that laughing at ourselves is so important, what other people think doesn't matter that much, and life should be lived to the fullest. God gave her to me to teach me to let go of the need to be "perfect" and just be who He wants me to be.

And then there's twin one. The Mind Bender. This one is a little different. He doesn't think like I do. He doesn't think like anyone I know. He's so smart, but not in a standard kind of way. He thinks things through elaborately, but gets distracted so easily by his own thoughts that the world around him disappears. I have to admit that infuriates me sometimes. I end up mad and fussing at him more often than I should. This boy of mine is the most loving and kind-hearted person I know, and I don't want to crush that by demanding he conform. I believe God gave me this child to show me that we don't all think inside the box. He's here to teach me to be patient with those who don't see everything my way and to love people. Just love them. Love them like God loves us.

Finally, God gave me twin two. I think I've said enough about the Pip Squeak on here before, but I'll just say that he is an inspiration. He reminds me that I should never give up. That the most wonderful things in life don't come easily. You have to work for them. God knew that I needed to be taught to appreciate the small victories in life as well as the large ones. And that it doesn't matter how old you were when you took your first long you're headed in the right direction.

Will I learn the lessons God has intended for me? I surely hope so. I have a hard head and I'm stubborn sometimes. I don't always remember that God knows best. But I love my four "lessons" so much. Even when the days are long and the patience is gone, I'm so glad that these are the ones God chose to give to me. I always tell Pip that if he was someone else's boy, I would have to steal him away since I love him so much. I couldn't imagine any of them belonging to another mom. Thank God, He knows what's best for us!


a Tonggu Momma said...

This is an absolutely gorgeous post! Sometimes, in the world of China adoption, we look around at the other girls in our travel group and think, 'why this girl to this family? Why our daughter to us?' And we always, always can see the answers. God knows. He blesses us with our children whether they arrive through birth or adoption. He is definitely in control.

The Momster said...

What an absolutely beautiful message...

Thanks so much for this today - just what I needed :)

Paul and Chelsea Gour said...

I love this post! It really made me think about each of our kiddos and it is so true...they were made for us and we have learned so much from them, still are. Even Claire, was perfectly matched to us by God's providence.

kristen@nosmallthing said...

This is a great post. I should sit down and think about why I was given my four. They're all SO different. Must mean that I need a lot of work in a lot of different areas, huh?!