Tuesday, August 5, 2008

My Little Monk

It's a jungle out there
Disorder and confusion everywhere
No one seems to care.
Well I do.
Hey, who's in charge here?
It's a jungle out there
Poison in the very air we breathe
Do you know what's in the water that you drink?
Well I do, and it's amazing
People think I'm crazy, 'cause I worry all the time
If you paid attention, you'd be worried too
You better pay attention
Or this world we love so much might just kill you
I could be wrong now,
but I don't think so.

Theme song for Monk
Written & performed by Randy Newman

Ever watched the TV show Monk? Adrian Monk is an obsessive, compulsive, quirky, phobic detective. I live with his miniature alter ego, The Pip Squeak.

Pip has been a chronic worrier since the day he was born. Nearly all of his baby photos feature his signature furrowed brow and pursed lips. His continued distress was not helped by the many hospital stays and surgeries he experienced as a small boy. This led to a germ phobia of epic proportions. Last summer he literally washed the skin off of his hands. Did you even know that was possible? Drastic measures were taken. The doctor was consulted. Hand sanitizer was no longer allowed. Ever. The factory stopped making it. I know there's still some on the shelves at Wal Mart. It's against the law for this family to buy any more. We used our life-long ration last summer. Seriously, last summer, we had the cleanest 9 year old in town. And he caught the flu anyway!

Things have gotten better lately, but anxiety still rears it's ugly head fairly frequently. On Saturday, Pip was helping with chores when he fell. Hard. On his left arm. Which he declared was probably not broken, but it could be. Because he could move it, but it hurt. But his fingers still worked. And it wasn't swollen. But still, what if it was broken? Should we go to the hospital just in case? This monologue continued throughout the remainder of the weekend until Monday afternoon when we got into the car to head to his first adaptive swimming lesson.

That's when the weather alert went out over the car radio. For a town 40 miles away. The storm was headed in the opposite direction, but it was all Pip needed to forget about the arm. Because now he could obsess about not being able to swim if there was rain. (It's an indoor pool.) What about lightning? (I'm sure there won't be any since the storm's going the other way.) What if there's hail when we leave? How will we get to the car? (We won't have hail.) How will we know if there are tornadoes? Will you stay in the car and listen for weather alerts?

This is when Darling Daughter rid him of storm fears by mentioning that there were probably lots of people in the indoor pool and it could be full of GERMS! And the water was probably DEEP, too! Maybe over his head. He would be bobbing in a deep sea of ick!

Needless to say the child was a basket case by the time we arrived.

The good news is, he calmed down quickly once he got into the water with Caroline. She never let him out of her hands. He felt safe and had fun. He wants to go back next week.

And he took a shower as soon as he got home!

1 comment:

The Momster said...

Circle Circle Dot Dot - now he's got his cootie shot.

I always tell the kids that the pool is not a potty. And the reason why they have to wait for me to test the chemicals is because nobody wants to swim in your bath water. I'm "really gross" like that :)

I'll admit - I have hand sanitizer in the car - I do my hands when I leave walmart!

Love that Pip Squeak and the stories...